the members of an orchestra
- violins I: we're the superstars fuck everyone else its all about us
- violins II: why do we always get the boring parts
- flutes: we're so lonely
- piccolo: lol fk your ears
- french horns: and im not even french hONHONHON BAGUETTE
- oboes: IM SORRY I TUNED BEFORE I SWEar
- violas: evERYONE ALWAYS FKUCING FRORGETS ABOUT US
- trumpets: wats 'p'
- trombones: wats quiet
- cellos: im either boring af or exciting af and there is no in between
- bassoons: im so posh but i really just honk like a truck
- clarinet: *squeaks*
- timpani: EVERYONE LOVES ME BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM
- bass clarinet: lol where am i
- tuba: *waits for a wagner piece to do something exciting*
- harp: im just a more sophisticated piano
- piano: FUCK YOU HARP I GET CONCERTOS WRITTEN FOR ME SCREW EVERYTHING WHO NEEDS AN ORCHESTRA WHEN YOU CAN PLAY EVERYTHING ON ME IM THE STAR OF EVERYTIHNG
- english horn: im literally only useful for dvorak's 9th like what am even i doing here
- basses: semibreves, tied to a semibreve, tied to a minim, tied to a crotchet, oh wait a quaver wow exciting ok back to semibreves
- cornets: trumpet wannabe
- cymbals: BOOM CRASH CRASH CRASH CRASH IM SRO HAPYP CRASH CRAHS
- xylophones: am i meant to be here?
- bass drum: MY TIME TO SHINE FUCK YOU ALL
- The French Horn made me laugh. Then I thought of this:
- http: //youtu.be/y5iG11s-dok
In the book-nerd circles where I hang out, the most famous Twitter-hater by far is Jonathan Franzen, who has accused the service of being “unspeakably dumb,” “a coercive development,” “the ultimate irresponsible medium,” and “everything I oppose.” I love Franzen’s work, but reading him on the topic of Twitter drives me bidirectionally bonkers. Direction one: His opinions are bad-tempered, incurious, oversimplified, recklessly arrived at (he has no idea how Twitter works), and, in many respects, flat wrong. Direction two: How can he be so petulant, so dogmatic, so uninformed, and — in the deepest ways, where it matters most — so disturbingly right? What Franzen is wrong about is what actually transpires on Twitter. It’s not unspeakably dumb; the problem, in fact, is that it’s sufficiently smart and interesting that spending massive amounts of time on it is totally possible and semi-defensible.
Whatever else Twitter is, it’s a literary form, which goes some way toward explaining why I find it so seductive. A tweet is basically a genre in which you try to say an informative thing in an interesting way while abiding by its constraint (those famous 140 characters) and making use of its curious argot (@, RT, MT, HT). For people who love that kind of challenge — and it’s easy to see why writers might be overrepresented among them — Twitter has the same allure as gaming. It is, essentially, Sentences With Friends.— How Twitter Hijacked My Mind – New York Magazine book critic Kathryn Schulz reflects on the medium’s singular mesmerism. (via explore-blog)
The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.
Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.
But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.
This was the Captain Samuel Vimes ‘Boots’ theory of socioeconomic unfairness.—
Terry Pratchett, “Men At Arms”
This is one of the best breakdowns I’ve ever seen of how expensive it is to be poor. (via slephoto)
this is true on so many levels
I always think about the money my parents have spent fixing up our house or various used cars over the years
Omg the sheer amounts of money I’ve had to pour into the cheap piece of shit car I have. So absolutely true.
There’s a reason my cat is named Terry Pratchett
So much this; from shoes, to car repairs, to health care ( waiting so long until something gets serious & costly vs preventative care) to food (same thing as health - contributing to it) and ON and ON and then compounding wealth - having something to give the next generation (who then claims they never got given anything, like generational wealth isn’t a factor). On and on it goes.